In Memorial, Televisions will be Muted from 3 to 4 am

TEGUCIGALPA – Billy Mays, television pitchman and secret bodyguard of ousted Honduran President Manuel Zelaya, died around dawn on Sunday during a Guardian Force raid on Zelaya’s home.

Known to Zelaya and the superhero community as “Inciter”, Mays kept his superpowers hidden from the world despite his recent rise to celebrity status in the US. Though he was a formidable foe at the end, Inciter was once a close friend of the Guardian Force and had politely refused membership on more than one occasion.

Inciter frequently fought to promote his view of justice, though his methods often were at odds with the Guardian Force’s overriding ethos. Using his super-powered ability to directly affect humans’ behavior with his voice, Inciter was responsible for both the 1989 Polish Solidarity labor strikes and the 2003 victory of Ruben Studdard over Clay Aiken on American Idol, as well as the unproven-but-otherwise-inexplicable success of Hercules Hooks.

Around 05:00 CST, a Guardian Force strike team consisting of Beyonder, Flatline, Blast, Ultragirl, and myself infiltrated Zelaya’s mansion after the hostile breakdown of a nineteen-hour negotiation for his peaceful surrender. Flatline caught Inciter flat-footed and attempted to neutralize his powers with a gag and taser, but Inciter escaped Flatline’s grapple and immediately used his abilities to turn Flatline against us. Knowing how deadly a zombie-puppet version of Flatline could be, Blast acted decisively, unleashing a powerful force bolt that knocked Inciter through a third-story window. The thirty-foot fall onto the marble patio below stopped Inciter’s heart, and Ultragirl’s efforts to revive him were unsuccessful.

Blast – currently on administrative leave pending an investigation into the deadly raid – has expressed deep regret and has repeatedly reached out to Mays’s family for forgiveness. This is Blast’s ninth recorded accidental killing since joining the Guardian Force in 2006.

Despite his questionable affiliations, Inciter will be mourned, missed, and fondly remembered.