Copenhagen Special: Two Nights for the Price of Six

CBS News has a story on the just-released Congressional Expense Report (pdf) from the Copenhagen Climate Summit in Denmark that illustrates the clueless, obtuse attitude among our very own ruling class.

First, the costs:

For 15 Democratic and 6 Republican Congressmen, food and rooms for two nights cost $4,406 tax dollars each. That's $2,200 a day...

Total hotel, meeting rooms and "a couple" of $1,000-a-night hospitality suites topped $400,000.

Flights weren't cheap, either. Fifty-nine House and Senate staff flew commercial during the Copenhagen rush. They paid government rates -- $5-10,000 each -- totaling $408,064. Add three military jets -- $168,351 just for flight time -- and the bill tops $1.1 million dollars -- not including all the Obama administration officials who attended: well over 60.

I know, I know. Stop the presses; government is wasting money. But look at the reactions to reporters' questions about the excessive expenditures:

Last week, we asked [Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif.,] about the $2,200-a-day bill for room and food.

"I can't believe that," Rep. Waxman said. "I can't believe it, but I don't know."

Waxman thinks CBS News is making shit up again, I suppose, despite the fact that his name is right there on the report. And how about House Speaker and stalwart swamp-drainer Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif.:

The group expense report was filed by [Pelosi]. She wouldn't talk about it when our producer tried to ask.

The "Run away!" approach. Nice. I'll try that tack next time Mrs Finch asks me about fishy charges on the MasterCard. But, in fairness, it's not as if our representatives wanted to pay such high prices:

Pelosi's office did offer an explanation for the high room charges. Those who stayed just two nights were charged a six-night minimum at the five-star Marriott. One staffer said they strongly objected to no avail.

See? They strongly objected. So, in summation, the folks we sent -- at a cost of more than a million dollars -- to negotiate a global climate treaty between 194 nations was hoodwinked and pig-ironed by the cast of Fawlty Towers.

Well done, America.

This is Madness!

Many before me had the idea, but this was my Friday art project:



If it's still there on my way out today, I may have to swipe it for casa de Finch.

Decimating Diversity

As a member of a cushy ethno-socioeconomic majority, my capacity to empathize with the deep, victorious feeling of pride that Barack Obama's election must have elicited among many blacks is limited. Given the tumultuous year that followed, though, how is this possible:



Over the time period covered by the poll, Obama's approval is down among Republicans (unsurprisingly) by 24 percentage points. Among Independents, his approval is down 18 points. Among young people: down 13. The elderly, females, Midwesterners, college graduates, married people -- Obama's approval is down at least 16 percentage points in each group. In fact, the President's approval rating is down in every single category Gallup looked at, including liberals and Democrats.

Except among blacks. Though it is within the poll's margin of error, Obama's approval actually increased among blacks between February and November, maintaining an average of 93% approval for the year.

In the entire scope of politics, religion, philosophy -- or toothpaste preference for that matter -- where would anyone expect concurrence exceeding nine out of ten? In a separate poll about abortion by the same polling company, only 52% of respondents categorized themselves as "pro-life" when the question was asked exclusively to Catholics. To put it in another context, the percentage of blacks who disapprove of Obama as President is identical to the percentage of people who ranked car salesmen as "very high/high" in honesty and ethics, and the same percentage of self-identified Christians who say they don't believe in God.

A generations-long (and continuing) struggle for equal opportunity has got to make it difficult to admit you backed a turkey, but blindly supporting a President because he looks like you is every bit as dangerous as blindly opposing him just because he doesn't. Not all of Obama's support is blind, obviously, but approval approaching unanimity in one group simultaneous with near-universal disappointment outside that group displays a disturbing lack of ideological diversity.

The Man Who Would be Blog King

Jim Treacher (né Sean Medlock) has created my new favoritest blog on the Internets. The DC Trawler is Treacher's blog within Tucker Carlson's new breaking-news and analysis site, The Daily Caller, which was itself admittedly conceived as a right-libertarian version of The Huffington Post. (Got all that?)

Treacher's posts read like some of the very best of Dave Barry over the years, updated with Internet-age (read: delightfully obscure) cultural references and vicious self-deprecation.

From Thursday's post:

[Reason Magazine editor-in-chief Matt Welch] was nice enough to invite me to a Reason event or get-together or whatever the smart people call it. It was for a very important book, the title of which I did not think to ask. I went and had a couple of beers and met some people. ...

Also, their offices look like CTU.

I guess that’s all I had on that one. Quite a build-up for nothing. Well, I’ve already typed this out, so I might as well post it. I really have no idea what I’m doing. But I’m glad the fine folks at Reason are doing what they’re doing: giving me free beer. I did tip the bartender a buck a beer, because I’m not some sort of fascist.

The team of semi-talented ScotticusFinch interns added The DC Trawler to the blog list in the left sidebar, so check it out from time to time.

"Downhill" Policing Trend in the UK

The sarcasm is on the shelf. The snark is switched to "off". This is good policing:

Some British bobbies have been reprimanded after they used their riot shields as makeshift sleds during the country’s cold snap.

A passer-by filmed the bobbies goofing around on a snowy hill in Oxford and posted the clip on YouTube. It shows a policeman barreling downhill while another shouts, “Whatever happens, keep smiling!”

Rick Latham, who filmed the scene on Tuesday, said he was pleasantly surprised by the officers’ actions. He thought they were going to scold him for trying to slide down the hill in a kayak.

Still don't believe I'm being earnest in my praise? I am. Consider the American plainclothes officer who recently felt it necessary to pull out his gun in response to a snowball fight*, and tell me which kind of officer would make you feel safer in your neighborhood.

Violent crime rates are way down, and policework is no longer triage. Effective police must be part of the communities they serve, and it wouldn't hurt to be trusted, respected, and liked by their fellow citizens. (A good start would be to stop bragging about how much they enjoy beating people up.) There is something undeniably heartening about a policeman taking five minutes to have some fun with a member of his community, especially when the tool he uses is the same one designed to facilitate domestic warfare. It is strikingly reminiscent of Flower Power, even if it was entirely unintentional.

Sure, this isn't Norman Rockwell's America. But it also isn't J Edgar Hoover's. Cheers to the Thames Valley Police.

Watch the bobsledding bobbies here.

*The snowball fight participants were punks itching for a fight, which is why I didn't blog in their defense.

In Communist Russia, TSA Plays with You!

Presenting the Playmobil Security Checkpoint:As Christmas 2009 came and went, I often lamented the fact that I couldn't find an appropriate toy to help me illustrate the realities of the police state to baby Wyatt. Granted, the happy little Playmobil traveler is unable to remove his shoes, open his bag, or relinquish his fingernail clippers -- which is misleading -- but the basics are covered.

Assuming the tiny plastic globetrotter didn't refuse to disclose his salary, attempt to carry on boomerangs, request to actually watch the screener rifle through his belongings, dare to carry cash, or consort with suspicious eight-year-olds, he will make his flight just fine.

Rumor has it a Playmobil S.W.A.T. No-Knock Raid playset is in the works, complete with a terrorized old woman, dead dogs, and a County Executive who thinks everyone involved deserves a pat on the back.

Taser Wednesday™ Continues

[UPDATE added below]

And now for the good news.

A federal appeals court this week ruled that a California police officer can be held liable for injuries suffered by an unarmed man he Tasered during a traffic stop. The decision, if allowed to stand, would set a rigorous legal precedent for when police are permitted to use the weapons and would force some law enforcement agencies throughout the state -- and presumably the nation -- to tighten their policies governing Taser use, experts said.

Michael Gennaco, an expert in police conduct issues who has conducted internal reviews of Taser use for the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department and other agencies, said the ruling by the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals prohibits officers from deploying Tasers in a host of scenarios and largely limits their use to situations in which a person poses an obvious danger.

As for the immediate trickle-down:

[Orange County Sheriff's Department s]pokesman John McDonald said the department's policy allows officers to fire Tasers at people who try to flee an encounter with police or who refuse, for example, to comply with an officer's order to lie down during an arrest. Those scenarios appear to be prohibited under the court's ruling.

Read the whole ruling here (pdf).

UPDATE: Reason Online wants to be just like me when they grow up.

...And, um, He's Coming Right For Us Too!

Ah, Chicago. There's two things you do better than anyone: hot dogs, and Taserin' folks in the midst of a diabetic seizure.

Prospero Lassi says he suffered a diabetes-induced seizure at home on April 9. His roommate called 911, and police from LaGrange Park and Brookfield responded, with EMTs from LaGrange Park.

Lassi says his roommate explained to police that he was having a diabetic seizure. Lassi "was not alert and could not move his body."

When the EMTs asked the cops to help them move Lassi from where he was lying on the floor, Lassi says, one of his "arms flailed during his diabetes-induced seizure, striking one of the LaGrange and Brookfield defendants. At no time did Mr. Lassi intentionally strike or offensively touch any of the LaGrange or Brookfield defendants."

Lassi says LaGrange Park Officer Darren Pedota responded by Tasering him 11 times, for nearly a minute, as he lay helpless. [italics added]

The story is exclusively drawn from Lassi's lawsuit, so we do not know the defendants' version of the events. Also no word yet if Lassi exacerbated the situation by refusing to take a shower before bedtime.

She's Coming Right For Us!

[UPDATE added below]

Anyone who's seen Poltergeist, The Exorcist, or Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants knows how terrifying little girls can be. Your humble correspondent grew up with two of them, and if Santa Claus had seen fit to deliver a Tiny Taser in 1985 rather than yet another Husky Helper toy, the Finch household would have been a very different place indeed.

Apparently Arkansas police officer Dustin Bradshaw shares our hypothetical six-year-old's mentality:

When [Bradshaw] arrived, the girl was curled up on the floor, screaming, and resisting as her mother tried to get her in the shower before bed.

"Her mother told me to take her if I needed to," the officer wrote.

The child was "violently kicking and verbally combative" when he tried to take her into custody and she kicked him in the groin.

He then delivered "a very brief drive stun to her back," the report said.

Bradshaw's boss, under pressure from the Mayor and the media, eventually suspended Bradshaw with pay (a.k.a. "vacation"), but not for Tasering the girl. The reprimand was for failing to videotape the encounter per department policy. Police Chief Jim Noggle actually defended the action itself as a benevolent alternative to breaking the girl's bones:

"We didn't use the Taser to punish the child - just to bring the child under control so she wouldn't hurt herself or somebody else," Mr Noggle said.

Had the officer tried to forcefully put the girl in handcuffs, he could have accidentally broken her arm or leg, Mr Noggle said.

And golly, it's not like he killed her or anything. The wholly incompetent mother is not off the hook, by the way, but had she electrocuted her ten-year-old for acting like a ten-year-old, she would be the one in jail.

Finally, just in case anyone is thinking "what's done is done"; Noggle also says the girl will face disorderly conduct charges. Stay classy, Arkansas.

UPDATE: Officer Bradshaw has been fired for alleged repeated failure to adhere to the department policy regarding the use of video cameras.

Your Kung Fu is No Match for My Scotty Karate

Drawn almost exclusively by its name, I recently tried a four-pack of Dark Horse Scotty Karate Scotch Ale. Expectations were high, especially considering the brew had to be imported by hand from the dreary plains of central Indiana (a wonderful birthday gift from my wonderful baby sister).

The wee heavy did not disappoint, and I was inspired to sing its praises on the Internets. At the same time, I did not want to cause Ted Stevens's email to be delayed, so first I looked to see if there was already a good review posted elsewhere.

There was:

...When it comes to flavor, Scotty Karate delivers in a major way. *This* is what I expected this big American-brewed Scotch ale to taste like. With a bigger body, we could be looking at greatness. Although there isn't an abundance of barrel-aged character, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if Dark Horse put SKSA in bourbon barrels for at least a brief time.

Flavors include chocolate, golden toffee, butterscotch, sugared pecans, medium-dark fruit, and a tobacco, tea, and hop leaf bitterness that concludes each mouthful with a gradually tightening, focused flourish. It may be nothing more than an overactive imagination, but a phenolic peaty tanginess and a puff of smoke are present as well.

...I don't drink beer because of the way it looks or smells. I drink beer because of the way it tastes. Scotty Karate Scotch Ale is the real deal and should be sought out by anyone who loves a good wee heavy...

My own review would have relied heavily on phrases like "hells yeah!" and "way more beer-y", so muchas gracias to BuckeyeNation. Now venture forth, ScotticusFinch minions, and consume.

Wholesale Healthcare (and Eunuchs)

Over at Hit & Run, reliable commenter P Brooks sums up Obamacare quite well:

And- goddammit!- if you make it mandatory for everyone, and prohibit risk-based pricing, it's not actually "insurance" anymore. It's a "buyers' club" for medical services.

Obviously, a buyers' club is great if you're an unemployed 50-year-old base-jumping, gator-wrestling smoker with diabetes and chronic dry eye; not so much if you're a healthy, risk-averse person forced to participate.

That's all I've got. Celebrating the birthday of the non-denominational Holiday Infant has evidently quelled my indignation.

If you absolutely must have something else today, hop across the virtual pond and read about Pakistani eunuchs winning the right to be recognized as a distinct third gender.

Are You Sure Officer O'Malley Was the One Who Broke Your Camera?

The growing national frustration with municipal police departments is not couched in a belief that all -- or even most -- officers act inappropriately. Rather, the frustration stems from the apparent unwillingness among police departments to recognize, condemn, and respond to misconduct when it arises.

In fact, police departments continue to innovate ways to make accountability more chimeric. Consider Chicago's new policy threatening criminal charges against people whose official claims of police misconduct are found to be without merit. While most people agree it would be satisfying to slap a fine on the Richard Heenes of the world, we have to remember exactly who's guarding the henhouse here:

A 2008 study by University of Chicago law professor Craig B. Futterman found 10,000 complaints filed against Chicago police officers between 2002 and 2004. That's more than any city in the country, and proportionally it's 40 percent above the national average. Of those 10,000 complaints, just 19 resulted in significant disciplinary action [suspension of a week or more]. In 85 percent of the cases, the complaint was dismissed without even interviewing the accused officer.

Furthermore, the 19-in-10,000 statistic deals only with complaints that were actually filed. According to the June 2006 US Department of Justice report on citizen complaints about police use of force, only one in ten people who believe that they have been abused by the police ever report the abuse.

Threats -- both explicit and implicit -- of financial and legal retribution are certainly one reason why.

Police officers are necessarily entrusted with authority over life and freedom, the two most important concepts in existence. It is unprecedented madness to also extend to them the continual benefit of the doubt. An officer wrongfully losing his job is terrible; a man wrongfully losing his life or his freedom is irreparable.

Man Outruns 12,000-Foot Tall Elephant, Makes Movie

Al Gore's advocacy film about the potential dangers of global climate change won an Academy Award.

Al Gore received the Nobel Peace Prize for his advocacy, being called "the single individual who has done most to create greater worldwide understanding of the measures that need to be adopted [in the struggle against climate change]" by the Nobel committee.

Al Gore recently appeared on the cover of Newsweek as a 21st-Century Isaac Newton and was called an "Eco-Prophet" and "The Thinking Man's Thinking Man".

And Al Gore thinks the temperature at the center of the Earth is "several million degrees":

Conan O'Brien: Now, what about ... you talk in the book about geothermal energy...

Al Gore: Yeah, yeah.

Conan: ...and that is, as I understand it, using the heat that's generated from the core of the earth...

Al: Yeah.

Conan: ...to create energy, and it sounds to me like an evil plan by Lex Luthor to defeat Superman. Can you, can you tell me, is this a viable solution, geothermal energy?

Al: It definitely is, and it's a relatively new one. People think about geothermal energy — when they think about it at all — in terms of the hot water bubbling up in some places, but two kilometers or so down in most places there are these incredibly hot rocks, 'cause the interior of the earth is extremely hot, several million degrees, and the crust of the earth is hot...

National Review Online blogger John Derbyshire goes ahead and tidies up the science for us laymen:

The temperature at the earth's core ... is usually quoted as 5000 degrees Celsius, though these guys claim it's much less, while some contrarian geophysicists have posted claims up to 9000 degrees. The temperature at the surface of the Sun is around 6000 degrees Celsius, while at the center, where nuclear fusion is going on bigtime, things get up over 10 million degrees.

To illustrate the enormity of Gore's wrongness, his claim is mathematically identical to saying the average height of an African Elephant is 12,000 feet, or that the fastest a human has ever run a mile is 0.223 seconds.

Did I know off the top of my head that the center of the Earth is actually around 5000 degrees? Of course not. But the spot on my mantle where there isn't an Oscar, a Nobel Peace Prize, and a framed copy of Newsweek serve as my excuse.

What's Al's?

Check out the whole Conan clip at YouTube here.

I'm Thankful for Howard Hesseman

Has there ever been a television series that didn't air the obligatory Thanksgiving episode, where everyone in the peer group is somehow (wackily!) prevented from having dinner with their actual family, and instead spends it with the rest of the (wacky!) cast?

From Cheers to Friends (a multiple-repeat offender) to Felicity, the recipe is a stalwart, and I guarantee if your DVR keeps even moderately busy this week, you'll catch at least one of your new favorite shows dusting it off again.

Fortunately, thanks to Al Gore's Internets, everyone on earth can bask in the glory of the WKRP in Cincinnati "Turkeys Away" episode. For those enslaved by IT overlords who refuse you access to Hulu.com, whet your beaks here, then check it out from home.

Learn all about the first Thanksgiving here.

Learn how to say "thanks" in two dozen languages here.

Read Abraham Lincoln's Thanksgiving Proclamation here.

And remember the words of Johnny Carson:

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then they discover once a year is way too often.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Whose Palm Do I Have to Grease to Move Up this List?

Back in July, I blogged about the Freedom House list of The Least Free Places on Earth. Not to be outdone, Transparency International has now released their annual Corruption Perceptions Index, which “measures the perceived level of public-sector corruption in 180 countries and territories around the world”.

Since Somalia was ranked as fifth on the Least Free Places list, and dead last on the Corruption Index, ScotticusFinch is prepared to annouce the 2009 winner of the “Place in Which Even a Superhero Should Hope to Never Accidentally Wake Up Award”...

Okay, it’s Detroit for the fourth straight year. But Somalia is a close second.

Unsurprisingly, Transparency International ranked New Zealand as the least-corrupt nation on earth. This is due mostly to the well-documented nigh-incorruptable nature of Hobbits.

It's a Wiggly Sack of Potatoes! It's a Smelly Plush Doll! It's... It's... Okay, it's my Kid in a Costume

Granted, so far it's all just playing dress-up, but the seeds are officially sown. I wonder if this is how Gandhi felt the first time he saw Gandhi Jr in a dhoti, or when Rollie Fingers first saw his boy sporting a dirty junior-high mustache.



On a superpower-related note, I can't help but notice that several of the millions of daily visitors to ScotticusFinch have neglected to vote on the last two polls (left sidebar). How can I be expected to advance the science of personal opinions unless you people participate? If you have already voted, go to your neighbor's cubicle while she's at lunch and vote again*. My bloated self-esteem could be at stake.

If you want to suggest a more click-worthy poll, please do so in the comments.

*See what I mean about being devoted to science?

14 Days Without Sleep Makes One Weak

A full two weeks ago, I drifted off under anesthetic while some eight-year-old with palsy practiced pumpkin-carving in my sinuses. Since then, and into the foreseeable future, I have been spending the hours between 10pm and 6am on the sofa, sitting straight up, pretending that I might eventually sleep. This overnight posture is required because of the 74 gallons of drainage (the medical term for snot) I now generate per night.

Every hour or so, I abandon my post on the sofa, stumble in the dark through the gauntlet of baby paraphernalia and empty tissue boxes to the bathroom, and force saltwater up my nose in direct conflict with everything I learned at YMCA swim class. The commotion, of course, convinces the dogs that it’s time for breakfast, so even after I find my way back to the couch, alternately dripping tainted saltwater and “drainage”, they sit attentively by my side, reminding me in that whiny dog language that their bowls are still empty. Never mind that it’s 1:45am.

Eventually baby Wyatt wakes up, and we go about our morning as if the night was somehow rejuvenating.

59 minutes out of every hour during the day, I hold my breath. Not by choice, but because my nose is clogged full of that stuff inside Cadbury Crème Eggs and breathing through my mouth all night has turned my throat into some sort of parched, scorched Taliban survival course. I try to save that one breath per hour for when the boss comes around to ask if everything is okay. “Yep,” I bark, which is code for “Please ignore the fact that I look like Martin Landau three days into a meth bender; I do not actually have the swine flu.” At least I assume it’s my boss. The hallucinations lately make it difficult to tell him apart from the giant Pillsbury Dough Boy who lives in the supply closet behind me.

Assurances have been made that I will eventually heal, although the “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!” banner hanging behind the Doc at my follow-up appointment was a bit disconcerting. And I’m pretty sure it was his lawyer who poked his head into the exam room, telling the Doc, “Hey, the judge totally isn’t buying it. You should probably have a bag packed and keep your passport on you.”

So for now, it’s back to the sofa and the Scotticus-shaped indentation that has formed within it, where I offer a fatted calf to the gods Kleenex, Ocean, Afrin, and Advil. I pray that they are appeased and benevolent, but I’m not holding my breath.

You'll Have my Story as Soon as the White House Writes it for me, Chief!

I’ve been meaning to blog about this fantastic Glenn Greenwald piece (originally posted October 6 at Salon.com) for awhile now. It deals with the media’s use of unnamed sources and specifically skewers Washington Post stenographer-as-journalist Anne Kornblut.

First, here is The Post’s own ombudsman:

The Post has strict rules on the use of anonymous sources. ...News organizations can pay dearly if they're not vigilant about sourcing. At minimum, credibility can suffer. At worst, a damaging journalistic transgression can occur. ...

Post policies say that readers should be told as much as possible about the quality of a confidential source ("with first-hand knowledge of the case," for instance). They also say "we must strive to tell our readers as much as we can about why our unnamed sources deserve our confidence."

Now, here is Greenwald taking Kornblut to the woodshed:

The Post depicts Obama as heavily and heroically engaged in disrupting the alleged Najibullah Zazi domestic terrorist plot and -- repeatedly highlighting that success -- claims "the White House has been charting a delicate course as it attempts to turn the page on Bush-era anti-terrorism policies," whereby "the Obama administration is increasingly confident that it has struck a balance between protecting civil liberties, honoring international law and safeguarding the country." Here are all of Kornblut's cited sources for the article -- every last one of them -- in the order she cites them:

Obama aides pointed ... administration officials said ... a senior administration official said ... officials said ... a senior administration official said ... senior Obama officials stressed ... a senior administration official said ... aides said ... officials said ... one senior administration official said. ...one senior official said. ...The official said ... a senior administration official said ... a senior administration official said ... administration officials said .... a senior official said.

Not a single named person is cited, and there's not a syllable of quoted dissent in any of it. Virtually every sentence in the long article does nothing but praise Obama and depict him as stalwartly safeguarding America's civil liberties ... even as he protects us from the dangerous Terrorists, so why is anonymity needed for that? It's nothing more than what [White House Press Secretary] Robert Gibbs is eager to say every day. Nor is there a hint of who these officials are, what the basis is of their knowledge, or why The Post granted anonymity....

...The Post's article ... doesn't even claim that these anonymous officials have any knowledge at all -- first-hand or otherwise -- of what actually happened (are they national security officials, press people, political advisers?). The article doesn't even pretend to justify why anonymity was granted (there's not a word about that).

...[W]hat happened here is obvious: the administration wanted to issue a Press Release exploiting the fear surrounding the Zazi case to justify Obama's Bush-copying civil liberties policies ... while depicting Obama as our careful yet forceful protector. So they dispatched an official (or officials) to dictate the sanctioned administration line to Anne Kornblut. She then unquestioningly wrote it all down (after granting them anonymity) and The Post uncritically published it as a "news article."

The whole piece is worth a read. (It goes on to point out that in addition to being a lapdog, Kornblut is also dead wrong in her assertions.)

Kornblut's piece in question is not an editorial or opinion column, mind you. It appeared in the National News section of The Washington Post. Remember this lazy, irresponsible work the next time someone tells you that the death of newspapers will be the death of “real” journalism, or when you hear the White House declaring who is and is not a news organization.

Jeff Flake: The Fozzie Bear of Congress

Don't get me wrong. I would rather Congress spend 100% of its time writing bills to congratulate Super Bowl-winning teams and whatnot, than slopping together more consequence-ignorant, corporate-welfare, nanny-state, liberty-reducing laws.

Still, to see Representative Jeff Flake's (R-AZ) response to HR 784 is just plain fun. The bill was introduced to "honor[] the 2560th anniversary of the birth of Confucius and recognize[] his invaluable contributions to philosophy and social and political thought." Seriously.

Flake's response, which accompanied his vote against the bill:

He who spends time passing trivial legislation may find himself out of time to read healthcare bill.

At press time, it is unconfirmed if he followed his statement with a hearty "Wokka wokka!"

Check out Flake here.

Even Superheroes get the TSA Blues

In the past, Avian Silver handled all of The Guardian Force's air travel manually. Since his extradition for trafficking in illegal stomp porn, however, we have all been subject to the carnivals of ineptitude formerly known as commercial airports.

Recently, a stalwart minion of the TSA relieved me of my nail-clippers, despite the fact that the clippers were already missing the little under-nail gunk extraction blade. Very well. But my ultra-stabby, spring-loaded, aluminum-tipped umbrella of doom? No sweat; step right through, sir.

Que será, será. Really, I'm just excited for an excuse to post this:


Cartoon via XKCD; link via (surprise, surprise) Hit & Run.